Perhaps you’ve stopped in out of curiosity. You may be a family member, friend, or confused church leader/member. I’ve been that person–the one looking for help and trying to catch up to mile marker 402 for someone in need when I’m at mile marker 19.

Imagine that the things happening in a home aren’t talked about. You don’t have words. There is ongoing tension and drama. One person feels shut down; another says anything and everything. At other times it’s over the moon wonderful. It’s not always normal, but whose relationship is? 

Women in these relationships feel like they’re losing their mind, living a roller coaster. Her husband is one way at home and another in public. No one wants to admit to being mistreated, unappreciated, or taken advantage of, even to themselves. It’s humiliating in the moment. It’s excruciating to say aloud or share with others.

But that’s where it starts: bring it into the open. Stop. Look. Ask questions. Study what’s happening. You need all the information; not the filtered, “decent,” or good things. You need to know what is true. God does not excuse deceit. God does not live in a world of make-believe or partial truth.

Encourage anyone who is confused and afraid to journal times, events, incidents. Pray with them and, together, ask God would to give you eyes to see the way He does. Read Psalm 139. God doesn’t pick and choose, including only the “holy” or “right” things we think, say and do. He sees it for what it is. Ask for wisdom. Fall on His mercy and grace. Be the person who chooses to represent God accurately. Be someone others reach out to. Talk to. Share with. Someone who wants to know, listen, and believe. Live the reality of “God with us.” Let her know:  You. are. not. alone.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
8 The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever. (Psalm 121)