God's desire is that disappointment and suffering would turn individuals to Himself. But too often, well-meaning individuals use marriage as the fix. They offer sex as a solution. They hold out respect (biblical?) ....
When Disappointment Turns Destructive
When a person with authority or power experiences difficulties or disappointment and responds in the flesh, we can expect a destructive marriage. It's important to note that a destructive marriage is not experienced by both individuals. It is perpetrated by one and experienced by the other.
Godly Men: It’s Time to Jump off the Bandwagon
If you are a godly man, perhaps you struggle to identify, verbalize, and act on domestic abuse because of the onslaught against you personally. You are afraid. Hurt. Threatened. Confused. Welcome.
Why You Don’t Know
It's common that individuals who come in regular contact with a woman experiencing domestic abuse don't know about it. She doesn't want you to. And you won't see it. Why?
How Do I Know?
Life is hard. Marriage takes work. So if a woman is miserable and thinks her life is normal, how would she know if something more is going on?
The Wisdom of Solomon
Jesus is all for saving souls. If one party has no concern for the life and safety of another, especially at cost to himself, you are likely dealing with a corpse. That is not a marriage problem, but a personal problem that requires evangelism and practical consequences/training.
Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain
Offering platitudes and reminders of God's sovereignty, goodness, and grace as a means of minimizing pain is one way we use the Lord's name in vain. How often do we wave the magic wand of Jesus' name to bring relief from suffering? Not relief for the individual in need as much as for ourselves?
An Ounce of Prevention
Some might say, "Be God's kind of woman and it won't happen to you" or otherwise infer that a woman is responsible for the words and behavior of her spouse. This is what I've learned (and what the Bible says):
Authority: Exceptions to the Rule
God's Word is clear that He is opposed to the proud who take His place at the cost of others' lives and freedom. The proud wrongfully accuse anyone who resists and convince others to promote their sin-filled use of position and privilege.
The D Word: A Proper Focus
Many individuals, men, and churches fall off the wagon of biblical interpretation with the D word [divorce]. Take a moment to back out of cultural norms, fears, and misconceptions. I’m not promoting anything here except sound biblical thinking, so don’t raise your hackles (yet) or run in fear. Divorce is the exception. Marriage is the rule. God’s focus is marriage: His covenantal relationship with Israel, Christ’s sacrificial love for the church.