Life is hard. Marriage takes work. So if a woman is miserable and thinks her life is normal, how would she know if something more is going on?
Jesus is all for saving souls. If one party has no concern for the life and safety of another, especially at cost to himself, you are likely dealing with a corpse. That is not a marriage problem, but a personal problem that requires evangelism and practical consequences/training.
Offering platitudes and reminders of God's sovereignty, goodness, and grace as a means of minimizing pain is one way we use the Lord's name in vain. How often do we wave the magic wand of Jesus' name to bring relief from suffering? Not relief for the individual in need as much as for ourselves?
Some might say, "Be God's kind of woman and it won't happen to you" or otherwise infer that a woman is responsible for the words and behavior of her spouse. This is what I've learned (and what the Bible says):
God's Word is clear that He is opposed to the proud who take His place at the cost of others' lives and freedom. The proud wrongfully accuse anyone who resists and convince others to promote their sin-filled use of position and privilege.
Many individuals, men, and churches fall off the wagon of biblical interpretation with the D word [divorce]. Take a moment to back out of cultural norms, fears, and misconceptions. I’m not promoting anything here except sound biblical thinking, so don’t raise your hackles (yet) or run in fear. Divorce is the exception. Marriage is the rule. God’s focus is marriage: His covenantal relationship with Israel, Christ’s sacrificial love for the church.
In homes with domestic violence, 50% of children are sexually and physically abused. America loses 5 children a day to abuse and neglect. Our churches, to our shame, are not exempt. The homes in our churches are not exempt. We must be watchful. Approachable. Trustworthy. Actively engaging the evil in our world with good, by the grace of God.
A body that is cared for the way Jesus cares for His bride will be healthy and vibrant. It will love and serve others outside itself.
If a woman’s application of Scripture is limited by submission to her husband, then he, not Jesus, is the measure of her sanctification.
The following is a recording of the second session as it relates to thinking/responding biblically when a wife is sinned against by her husband. Topics covered are biblical resistance, love covers a multitude of sin, forgive and forget, forgiveness and reconciliation, forgiveness and trust, anger, and marriage.