Hope

Where is your hope? If your hope is in an individual changing, that may never happen. If your hope is a healthy, thriving marriage with an abusive spouse, that is not in your realm of influence.

Submission vs. Survival

A wife who is in a dangerous or oppressive relationship does not and can not submit in the biblical sense of the word because her behavior is forced. Submission is a choice. Survival is not. A woman who is punished for disobeying her husband's preferences, desires, and commands quickly learns where the line is and how to avoid repercussions.

Why do I Feel guilty?

In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.

Sin: Bound and Loosed

If an individual is not forgiven here on earth, it's because forgiveness was not sought and repentance was not actualized. If that sin is not paid for and loosed on earth by those who experienced it, it is not forgiven in Heaven. It has never been owned, confessed, forsaken.