Some might say, "Be God's kind of woman and it won't happen to you" or otherwise infer that a woman is responsible for the words and behavior of her spouse. This is what I've learned (and what the Bible says):
If a woman’s application of Scripture is limited by submission to her husband, then he, not Jesus, is the measure of her sanctification.
Crying out to God has two very difficult components--going to Him directly (which requires humility and faith) and waiting. If you've ever tried--or not had a choice--you know waiting is oh, so difficult. Like a muscle, waiting strengthens with time, intentionality, and practice.
Cry out. God hears. God sees. He remembers you. He sees your affliction (even if you don't know what to call it). He will deliver you. Don't rely on yourself or others. Ask Him for help...
You and I cannot change the world around us. But, by God's grace, we can surrender to His good work in our own lives. It requires submission to God--God as He really is, as He reveals Himself in His Word, not the way we perceive or imagine--and trust that He is able. Here is the prayer of Sanctuary--the prayer of my heart for you.
There has been discussion about the Power and Control Wheel in some circles. If you are not familiar, it is a simply diagram that describes eight tactics abusers use to maintain power and control in a relationship. It is an accurate tool that gives women words and examples to express how and what happens in … Continue reading Vice of Domination
Where is your hope? If your hope is in an individual changing, that may never happen. If your hope is a healthy, thriving marriage with an abusive spouse, that is not in your realm of influence.
A wife who is in a dangerous or oppressive relationship does not and can not submit in the biblical sense of the word because her behavior is forced. Submission is a choice. Survival is not. A woman who is punished for disobeying her husband's preferences, desires, and commands quickly learns where the line is and how to avoid repercussions.
Jesus bore our sins. He is the theological (or Biblical) context for understanding this phrase. The historical context is punishment for breaking Roman law. Those who hung beside Jesus were guilty. "Bearing your cross" is carrying the weight, or living out the consequences, of your own guilt.
In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.