I can't possibly say it better, but you need to know: "One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don't seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser's friends may … Continue reading Clear the Confusion
Looking for Help
Rest
Rest and peace are, perhaps, the most elusive elements in cases of oppression. There is no rest. There is no peace. Women and children are isolated with few resources against ravenous wolves. There are those that believe this is normal. Jesus says otherwise. When I am fighting sin and injustice, although I long for a … Continue reading Rest
Oh, that…
I cannot tell you the number of times women, pastors, family members and friends say, "But there's no physical abuse..." as if that means a man's behavior is negligible. With or without physical violence, controlling patterns of behavior restrict and confine individuals to a level of isolation and torment.
How Do I Know?
Life is hard. Marriage takes work. So if a woman is miserable and thinks her life is normal, how would she know if something more is going on?
An Ounce of Prevention
Some might say, "Be God's kind of woman and it won't happen to you" or otherwise infer that a woman is responsible for the words and behavior of her spouse. This is what I've learned (and what the Bible says):
Headship: Preamble
If a woman’s application of Scripture is limited by submission to her husband, then he, not Jesus, is the measure of her sanctification.
Crying out…and Waiting
Crying out to God has two very difficult components--going to Him directly (which requires humility and faith) and waiting. If you've ever tried--or not had a choice--you know waiting is oh, so difficult. Like a muscle, waiting strengthens with time, intentionality, and practice.
The Importance of Crying Out
Cry out. God hears. God sees. He remembers you. He sees your affliction (even if you don't know what to call it). He will deliver you. Don't rely on yourself or others. Ask Him for help...
Prayer for a New Year
You and I cannot change the world around us. But, by God's grace, we can surrender to His good work in our own lives. It requires submission to God--God as He really is, as He reveals Himself in His Word, not the way we perceive or imagine--and trust that He is able. Here is the prayer of Sanctuary--the prayer of my heart for you.
Vice of Domination
There has been discussion about the Power and Control Wheel in some circles. If you are not familiar, it is a simply diagram that describes eight tactics abusers use to maintain power and control in a relationship. It is an accurate tool that gives women words and examples to express how and what happens in … Continue reading Vice of Domination
Seeking Sanctuary 