You and I cannot change the world around us. But, by God's grace, we can surrender to His good work in our own lives. It requires submission to God--God as He really is, as He reveals Himself in His Word, not the way we perceive or imagine--and trust that He is able. Here is the prayer of Sanctuary--the prayer of my heart for you.
Jesus
Hope
Where is your hope? If your hope is in an individual changing, that may never happen. If your hope is a healthy, thriving marriage with an abusive spouse, that is not in your realm of influence.
“Your Cross to Bear”
Jesus bore our sins. He is the theological (or Biblical) context for understanding this phrase. The historical context is punishment for breaking Roman law. Those who hung beside Jesus were guilty. "Bearing your cross" is carrying the weight, or living out the consequences, of your own guilt.
Listening to A Woman’s Voice
I spend a lot of time thinking about pastors, churches and the realities of hurting people. I love Jesus. That means I love the local church. Pastors. The Body of Christ. And I spend a lot of time with hurting people. One thing I don't want to be is a Debbie Downer. I hate bad … Continue reading Listening to A Woman’s Voice
Why do I Feel guilty?
In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.
Confession as Abuse
We must be very careful how we coach, teach, and encourage confession and forgiveness in imbalanced relationships.
Show Me the Money!
There's a saying I use in counseling: "Show me the money." It's simple: tell me who benefits from an action or choice, and I can tell you who's manipulating a situation, especially in an imbalanced relationship where one person uses power and control for himself. Who benefits when your husband gets angry? He does. Why? … Continue reading Show Me the Money!
Invisible Bondage
Compare biblical misunderstanding with Amnesty International's Report on Torture (New York: Farra, Strauss, and Giroux), 1973 following the Vietnam War. Albert Biderman, a psychologist, studied the methods foreign armies used to extract false confessions from prisoners of war. You may be surprised at the similarities.
The Cleaner
So when we clean or cover up another's sin and remove consequences and the opportunity/need for repentance, we are not serving them. We may be serving ourselves without realizing it. We are not working with God, but against Him.
Sin: Bound and Loosed
If an individual is not forgiven here on earth, it's because forgiveness was not sought and repentance was not actualized. If that sin is not paid for and loosed on earth by those who experienced it, it is not forgiven in Heaven. It has never been owned, confessed, forsaken.
Seeking Sanctuary 