When a person with authority or power experiences difficulties or disappointment and responds in the flesh, we can expect a destructive marriage. It's important to note that a destructive marriage is not experienced by both individuals. It is perpetrated by one and experienced by the other.
God
God’s IQ Test
Faith in Jesus Christ makes us all sons of God. Not daughters and sons. Not children. Sons. Every individual who puts her faith in Christ has the standing of a son in God's kingdom.
An Ounce of Prevention
Some might say, "Be God's kind of woman and it won't happen to you" or otherwise infer that a woman is responsible for the words and behavior of her spouse. This is what I've learned (and what the Bible says):
The D Word: A Proper Focus
Many individuals, men, and churches fall off the wagon of biblical interpretation with the D word [divorce]. Take a moment to back out of cultural norms, fears, and misconceptions. I’m not promoting anything here except sound biblical thinking, so don’t raise your hackles (yet) or run in fear. Divorce is the exception. Marriage is the rule. God’s focus is marriage: His covenantal relationship with Israel, Christ’s sacrificial love for the church.
Crying out…and Waiting
Crying out to God has two very difficult components--going to Him directly (which requires humility and faith) and waiting. If you've ever tried--or not had a choice--you know waiting is oh, so difficult. Like a muscle, waiting strengthens with time, intentionality, and practice.
Prayer for a New Year
You and I cannot change the world around us. But, by God's grace, we can surrender to His good work in our own lives. It requires submission to God--God as He really is, as He reveals Himself in His Word, not the way we perceive or imagine--and trust that He is able. Here is the prayer of Sanctuary--the prayer of my heart for you.
Why do I Feel guilty?
In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.
Good and Angry
If grief is the normal response to abuse, anger follows honesty or candor. "How could I keep going back?" "Why didn't I ____?" "Who does he think he is?" Because anger is a response to moral failure, it reveals what we perceive to be right and wrong. In the case of abuse, anger is not … Continue reading Good and Angry
The Value of Evil
Lately I have been overwhelmed by the wickedness of man. When someone experiences unspeakable evil it attacks both the mind--that's trauma, it's real--and the heart. Hopelessness. Emptiness. Loss. We want it to go away; to cease and desist. Pat answers and platitudes do nothing less than throw oil on the fire. Instead, it's time to … Continue reading The Value of Evil
Where is God?
There is unspeakable evil in our world. People do things that should never be done--or thought about. The cruelty and disregard of abusers for their victims leaves me speechless at times. Where was God? Why didn't He intervene? How could He let that happen? For that long? I know much of what the Bible says. … Continue reading Where is God?
Seeking Sanctuary 