Offering platitudes and reminders of God's sovereignty, goodness, and grace as a means of minimizing pain is one way we use the Lord's name in vain. How often do we wave the magic wand of Jesus' name to bring relief from suffering? Not relief for the individual in need as much as for ourselves?
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When Sinned Against
The following is a recording of the second session as it relates to thinking/responding biblically when a wife is sinned against by her husband. Topics covered are biblical resistance, love covers a multitude of sin, forgive and forget, forgiveness and reconciliation, forgiveness and trust, anger, and marriage.
A House of Cards
It's normal and good to help individuals who are struggling. We all want relief and an end to conflict. The problem is, if we don't understand the dynamics of abuse and of any given relationship, we can easily work against those who are hurting. We will find ourselves working against God. For years a wise … Continue reading A House of Cards
Accessing Strength and Power
Lately I've been thinking a lot about what prevents victims of abuse from crying out--and there are a lot of factors. I'll be part of a Master Class with Chris Moles in the near future and will make it available as I'm able. But something incredible has fallen into my lap in the way of … Continue reading Accessing Strength and Power
Knowing When to Leave
Women want to know. When do I leave? How do I know? The book, Sanctuary, walks through heart responses to abuse because it's not only important to understand abuse and its effects; it's just as important to learn to how to respond to your abuser and see past the abuse to your self: how you think, … Continue reading Knowing When to Leave
When You’re Not the Problem
What if your abuse isn't about you? It's a farce. You're not at fault. You've done nothing wrong. You're not trying to be difficult, but the rules keep changing. Your whole sense of balance is off-kilter? What if? How would you know? This is how abusive relationships work. It's not a marriage issue. It's not … Continue reading When You’re Not the Problem
Repentance
Those who use power and control as weapons use them well. Think of hand-to-hand combatants in the movies: Matt Damon, Keanu Reeves, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee. That's an abuser in a nutshell. It's what you're up against--what victims of abuse experience--only it isn't one scene and it's not a movie. It's real life. Over. And … Continue reading Repentance
Change
I've spent time with women in stinky relationships--and it's hard. Life is difficult. Unpredictable. Painful. Hopeful. Then heart-breaking, hope-shattering, disappointing. Because women in abuse relationships don't talk to others about the pain, shame, and abuse, they rarely hear what other women in similar situations say. If they did, they'd hear: "When everything is good, he's … Continue reading Change
When You’re Up Against Power and Control
I started my morning reading about King Saul and David in the book of 1 Samuel and ended up studying the power and control wheel. PowerControlwheelNOSHADING If you haven't seen this before, it was developed by a group of individuals to describe the crippling effects of unseen abuse in relationships. Just because someone on the … Continue reading When You’re Up Against Power and Control
Why Address Sin?
"If a woman is not to blame for her abuse, aren't you finger-pointing and blaming the victim to talk about her sin?" When a woman comes to a pastor, biblical counselor, or older woman for help, the last thing that should be addressed is her sin. Literally. The last thing. Her primary need is practical … Continue reading Why Address Sin?
Seeking Sanctuary 