Getting older provides me a freedom–freedom from the expectations of myself and others. In fact, as I was traveling this last week I found myself making choices based on personal preferences instead of obligation. There was no sin in those personal decisions, but there was newfound freedom. Perhaps you, like me, find yourself asking, “What is the difference between guilt and shame?”

Guilt is a matter of fact. You broke a law. Specifically, God’s law. You may also be guilty of breaking your parent’s “law,” your husband’s “law,” your children’s “law,” etc. without sinning. For example, a parent may discourage or forbid children from sharing hurtful experiences. A husband may insist on absolute obedience. Children may demand a parent’s undivided attention. These are not God’s law. These are finite, limited rules enacted and enforced by sinful beings. Sin is related to God’s law, not the laws of others.

It is true, however, that we feel a sense of shame, being wrong, unworthy and “less than,” when we break human laws. We also feel shame when someone else sins (breaks God’s law) and tells us it’s our fault or when we carry the weight of their sin against us even when we did nothing wrong.

God is gracious and kind. He has provided a remedy for guilt and shame. According to His Word, when we agree with Him (take responsibility for our sin), He forgives. He is faithful. Every. Time. He is just. Because He punished Jesus for our sin, He won’t punish us, too (double-jeopardy).

God’s forgiveness provides the remedy for shame. How? With truth. As we ask questions and look to His Word for answers (exposing the reality of our situation), shame dissolves:

What happened?
Who is responsible?
In what happened, did I sin against God? Or did I break someone else’s law (even my own)?
If I sinned against God, have I gone to Him with it and reminded myself of the forgiveness I have in Christ?
If I sinned, have I changed? (Jesus said, “Go and sin no more”–this is repentance and proof of forgiveness)
Am I afraid that if others know they will hold it against me? (This is shame with all capitals)
If I am forgiven by God, if I am free, am I trusting Him with the outcome? Or am I trusting and protecting myself? Whom can I tell? Who will speak the truth of Jesus and His love?

I have seen parents paralyzed by grief and sorrow for years because they carry shame. I have seen women remain in abusive marriages for decades because of shame. I have seen young adults walk through life overcome by loneliness and self-pity because of shame.

There is a remedy. Warren Lamb explains, “Take your shame to the foot of the cross and say, ‘Jesus, I’m tired of carrying this. I don’t want it anymore.’ He may take one look and say, ‘Your sins are forgiven. Go and sin no more.’ Or He may surprise you by saying, ‘That’s not yours. Give it back to the person it belongs to. I won’t take what’s not yours to give.'”

Jesus despised shame. It had no hold on Him because He did nothing wrong. He is sinless. But He bore our guilt. He removes our shame; vaporizes it. Jesus vanquished sin and death–and the shame that accompanies them. Jesus replaces guilt and death with Truth and Life.

Please, for your sake, for the sake of the gospel, for the benefit of everyone you touch and bless, let go. Go to Jesus. Repent. Receive His forgiveness and freedom. He is waiting. He is ready. He is able.