Crying out to God has two very difficult components--going to Him directly (which requires humility and faith) and waiting. If you've ever tried--or not had a choice--you know waiting is oh, so difficult. Like a muscle, waiting strengthens with time, intentionality, and practice.
There has been discussion about the Power and Control Wheel in some circles. If you are not familiar, it is a simply diagram that describes eight tactics abusers use to maintain power and control in a relationship. It is an accurate tool that gives women words and examples to express how and what happens in … Continue reading Vice of Domination
Besides deceit, hypocrisy and secrecy, another obstacle for those seeking help is an individual who has been similarly hurt without healing. If they were to acknowledge hurt, pain and suffering at another's hand, it would stir up feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. The resulting pain and suffering would confirm the reality of evil and its … Continue reading I Know a Guy
Jesus bore our sins. He is the theological (or Biblical) context for understanding this phrase. The historical context is punishment for breaking Roman law. Those who hung beside Jesus were guilty. "Bearing your cross" is carrying the weight, or living out the consequences, of your own guilt.
In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.
Where sin is involved, we should not be surprised but, instead, should expect the following responses. It is only by God's grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ that we run to Him when we sin.
A man who uses his wife to exalt himself competes with God. As God's bond-servants may we expose blasphemy and wickedness that opposes Jesus, the Lamb that was slain, the One who alone is worthy "To receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!”
It's time to call suffering what it is, to rebuke wrong doing, and rescue the hurting from unnecessary, avoidable injustice. Why do we fail to take another's suffering...lightly?
Abusive relationships breed confusion: shame, anger, pity, love, guilt, frustration, fear. If that's your bag, it's time to ask questions and get help. One of those feelings and filters that affects all of life is shame. It eats away at us in quiet moments, in the dark of night, in between this and that. If … Continue reading Shame vs. Guilt