There are those who preach, believe, and live as though a woman who is married must chose her husband over Jesus. In the sight of others, sadly, the church, her wedding ring strips her of her identity in Christ and the privilege of being Christ's sister. Instead being united with Christ as an instrument of … Continue reading When “I do” Replaces “in Christ”
Headship: Take 2
A body that is cared for the way Jesus cares for His bride will be healthy and vibrant. It will love and serve others outside itself.
Sin is more Than a Problem to Solve
It's easy to take an item to the Jesus-counter, confess, ask forgiveness, then walk out the door with pockets, nooks, and crannies loaded with unconfessed sin. Sin kills relationships. Sin is more than a problem to be solved.
“Your Cross to Bear”
Jesus bore our sins. He is the theological (or Biblical) context for understanding this phrase. The historical context is punishment for breaking Roman law. Those who hung beside Jesus were guilty. "Bearing your cross" is carrying the weight, or living out the consequences, of your own guilt.
Are You a Safe Person?
For those of you who don't see or acknowledge men who use fear, confusion, force, coercion, threats, and violence to get what they want, it's not because it's a unicorn. It's a horse. And you are not a safe person.
Why do I Feel guilty?
In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.
Show Me the Money!
There's a saying I use in counseling: "Show me the money." It's simple: tell me who benefits from an action or choice, and I can tell you who's manipulating a situation, especially in an imbalanced relationship where one person uses power and control for himself. Who benefits when your husband gets angry? He does. Why? … Continue reading Show Me the Money!
A Worthy Sacrifice
A man who uses his wife to exalt himself competes with God. As God's bond-servants may we expose blasphemy and wickedness that opposes Jesus, the Lamb that was slain, the One who alone is worthy "To receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!”
Shame vs. Guilt
Abusive relationships breed confusion: shame, anger, pity, love, guilt, frustration, fear. If that's your bag, it's time to ask questions and get help. One of those feelings and filters that affects all of life is shame. It eats away at us in quiet moments, in the dark of night, in between this and that. If … Continue reading Shame vs. Guilt
The Conscience and Domestic Abuse
"It can't be!" "It's not possible." These are natural responses when a victim discloses the truth, especially to mutual friends and family members. We want to think people know better, that the abuser has a conscience, that no one would knowingly treat a loved one with cruelty and contempt. That's simply not true. The noetic effect … Continue reading The Conscience and Domestic Abuse