Rules and consequences easily set themselves up for hierarchy. They don't have to, but that is our natural tendency as sinful creatures--to set ourselves up to be served rather than to serve.
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Sin is more Than a Problem to Solve
It's easy to take an item to the Jesus-counter, confess, ask forgiveness, then walk out the door with pockets, nooks, and crannies loaded with unconfessed sin. Sin kills relationships. Sin is more than a problem to be solved.
A Congregational Opportunity
Recently I was invited to speak to a congregation, with their pastor, about domestic abuse from a biblical perspective. Check it out: Calvary Baptist Church in Chatfield, MN with Pastor Mike Gittins November 21, 2021
Vice of Dominion
There has been discussion about the Power and Control Wheel in some circles. If you are not familiar, it is a simply diagram that describes eight tactics abusers use to maintain power and control in a relationship. It is an accurate tool that gives women words and examples to express how and what happens in … Continue reading Vice of Dominion
I Know a Guy
Besides deceit, hypocrisy and secrecy, another obstacle for those seeking help is an individual who has been similarly hurt without healing. If they were to acknowledge hurt, pain and suffering at another's hand, it would stir up feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. The resulting pain and suffering would confirm the reality of evil and its … Continue reading I Know a Guy
It’s Not Anxiety
Woman after woman is accused of--or describes herself as--suffering from anxiety. Making decisions, moving through the day, talking to individuals, caring for children, going to bed. All are riddled with a sense of dread, fear, panic, unease. The words, "If only..." precede every other thought. The Bible speaks to anxiety. Pastors and Bible study leaders … Continue reading It’s Not Anxiety
Go Team!
Isn't the idea of "choosing" the husband or wife in a domestic dispute unbiblical? A friend, pastor, church, or family member should be on both teams, shouldn't they? Loving both. Caring for both. Doing what is best for both. It just feels wrong to have to choose one over the other--how do you make sense … Continue reading Go Team!
Are You a Safe Person?
For those of you who don't see or acknowledge men who use fear, confusion, force, coercion, threats, and violence to get what they want, it's not because it's a unicorn. It's a horse. And you are not a safe person.
Context
The same is true of marriage. You and I can give advice, try to relate to a suffering or distant woman, and come alongside her, but if we don't have the words or ability to understand the difference between a mutual relationship and an oppressive one, we aren't even speaking the same language.
Weight of Sin
When is the last time you bore the weight of your sin against another person--not just acknowledged it, but sat in it, listened to it from another perspective--and owned it? That is the biblical concept of confessing your sin to one another and praying for one another that you may be healed (James 5:16). This … Continue reading Weight of Sin
Seeking Sanctuary 