Abusive relationships breed confusion: shame, anger, pity, love, guilt, frustration, fear. If that's your bag, it's time to ask questions and get help. One of  those feelings and filters that affects all of life is shame. It eats away at us in quiet moments, in the dark of night, in between this and that. If … Continue reading Shame vs. Guilt

In relationships that are off-balance, whether you define yours as abusive or not, there is a sense of one-way love. One individual is always giving, flexing, changing, doing. The other is always receiving, demanding, taking. Part of recognizing an abusive relationship is seeing that pattern for what it is. It is not balanced, other-focused, or … Continue reading Love is Not Mutually Exclusive

A woman noticed my nametag as we stood in line. "Did you write that book in the bookstore?" she asked. When I told her I had, she shared her own story of domestic abuse, then she wanted to know mine. I fumbled for an answer. In the year since the book was published, she was … Continue reading Why I Wrote “Sanctuary….”