"...your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions...is a plain indication of God's righteous judgment so that you will be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which indeed you are suffering." (2 Thessalonians 1:4-5) Some godly individuals overlook domestic abuse because they see it as an affliction that … Continue reading Persecution vs. Abuse
manipulation
For Men Only
Hello, Gentlemen, This is an open letter to men from an aging woman who is confident in God's provision. I live by His promises. And I am addressing you, not with fear, malice, bitterness, anger or resentment, but with respect and love as a matter-of-fact. Please hear me out. You are no better than any … Continue reading For Men Only
When You’re Not the Problem
What if your abuse isn't about you? It's a farce. You're not at fault. You've done nothing wrong. You're not trying to be difficult, but the rules keep changing. Your whole sense of balance is off-kilter? What if? How would you know? This is how abusive relationships work. It's not a marriage issue. It's not … Continue reading When You’re Not the Problem
Reality
The reality of violent domestic abuse--which happens to one in three women* (did you read that right?)--the reality is captivity. Women are captives, not only in their homes, but in their lives, choices, and heads. They are coerced and manipulated to another's agenda, wishes, demands, and and preferences. Women are threatened, belittled, bullied, and treated … Continue reading Reality
Repentance
Those who use power and control as weapons use them well. Think of hand-to-hand combatants in the movies: Matt Damon, Keanu Reeves, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee. That's an abuser in a nutshell. It's what you're up against--what victims of abuse experience--only it isn't one scene and it's not a movie. It's real life. Over. And … Continue reading Repentance
Submissive Equality
Somehow we've gotten the idea that submission in marriage means everything. If a husband is displeased, it's because his wife isn't submitting. If the marriage is struggling, it's because she's not submitting "in everything." There a mistaken understanding that, because marriage represents Christ and the Church, the husband (representing Christ) is right and the wife … Continue reading Submissive Equality
Forgiveness without Reconciliation
I was recently asked what marriage to an abusive man would look like if he never changed--if he confessed and asked for forgiveness as manipulation. That's a hard question. What would it look like to live, willing to forgive, but unreconciled? Jesus' said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation
