The following is a recording of the second session as it relates to thinking/responding biblically when a wife is sinned against by her husband. Topics covered are biblical resistance, love covers a multitude of sin, forgive and forget, forgiveness and reconciliation, forgiveness and trust, anger, and marriage.
Reconciliation
Prayer for a New Year
You and I cannot change the world around us. But, by God's grace, we can surrender to His good work in our own lives. It requires submission to God--God as He really is, as He reveals Himself in His Word, not the way we perceive or imagine--and trust that He is able. Here is the prayer of Sanctuary--the prayer of my heart for you.
Hope
Where is your hope? If your hope is in an individual changing, that may never happen. If your hope is a healthy, thriving marriage with an abusive spouse, that is not in your realm of influence.
Gullible vs. Groomed
Some men intentionally look for Jesus-loving, kind, gracious, submissive women to marry as a means of controlling them and micromanaging their personal life. Some men use the church as a cover for sinful behavior. It worked in Corinth.
Don’t Rush It!
Christians, biblical counselors, pastors, Bible study leaders--we are quick to rush to perceived biblical solutions because it seems obvious--it's what we know. In the case of domestic abuse (or any abuse), it is much easier to tell a victim to forgive than it is to listen to, wrestle with, and endure suffering with her. Forgiveness … Continue reading Don’t Rush It!
One of Us
A victim's greatest need is safety and security. Unfortunately, she is more likely to find it outside church walls than within. Why? Too often church members and pastors excuse an abusers' treatment of his wife by believing (or saying) something like this: "If only you were more submissive." "Have you prayed about it?" "Do you … Continue reading One of Us
The Nunya Zone
As you work through how to respond to an abusive husband, it is important to understand the Nunya Zone. It is discussed in more detail throughout the book, Sanctuary, but not by that name. Nunya is a term I use regularly in counseling sessions that refers to those things that are not my responsibility, as in … Continue reading The Nunya Zone
Forgiveness without Reconciliation pt. 2
Forgiveness is costly. When Jesus prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing," He was not providing a blanket forgiveness. He was petitioning His Father, willing to pay the price for their sin against Him. In the same way, Jesus took the punishment of my sin so I wouldn't have to. … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation pt. 2
Forgiveness without Reconciliation
I was recently asked what marriage to an abusive man would look like if he never changed--if he confessed and asked for forgiveness as manipulation. That's a hard question. What would it look like to live, willing to forgive, but unreconciled? Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation
Seeking Sanctuary 