It is not uncommon for those who have been unjustly mistreated and oppressed to be told they need to offer the offender grace. After all, they reason, God is gracious to them, so they ought to be gracious to others. This may be an oversimplification, but I read this verse differently today and it gave … Continue reading Mercy and Grace
Forgiveness
The Power of Guilt
Getting older provides me a freedom--freedom from the expectations of myself and others. In fact, as I was traveling this last week I found myself making choices based on personal preferences instead of obligation. There was no sin in those personal decisions, but there was newfound freedom. Perhaps you, like me, find yourself asking, "What … Continue reading The Power of Guilt
Sin is more Than a Problem to Solve
It's easy to take an item to the Jesus-counter, confess, ask forgiveness, then walk out the door with pockets, nooks, and crannies loaded with unconfessed sin. Sin kills relationships. Sin is more than a problem to be solved.
Don’t Rush It!
Christians, biblical counselors, pastors, Bible study leaders--we are quick to rush to perceived biblical solutions because it seems obvious--it's what we know. In the case of domestic abuse (or any abuse), it is much easier to tell a victim to forgive than it is to listen to, wrestle with, and endure suffering with her. Forgiveness … Continue reading Don’t Rush It!
Submissive Equality
Somehow we've gotten the idea that submission in marriage means everything. If a husband is displeased, it's because his wife isn't submitting. If the marriage is struggling, it's because she's not submitting "in everything." There a mistaken understanding that, because marriage represents Christ and the Church, the husband (representing Christ) is right and the wife … Continue reading Submissive Equality
Why Address Sin?
"If a woman is not to blame for her abuse, aren't you finger-pointing and blaming the victim to talk about her sin?" When a woman comes to a pastor, biblical counselor, or older woman for help, the last thing that should be addressed is her sin. Literally. The last thing. Her primary need is practical … Continue reading Why Address Sin?
Forgiveness without Reconciliation pt. 2
Forgiveness is costly. When Jesus prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing," He was not providing a blanket forgiveness. He was petitioning His Father, willing to pay the price for their sin against Him. In the same way, Jesus took the punishment of my sin so I wouldn't have to. … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation pt. 2
Forgiveness without Reconciliation
I was recently asked what marriage to an abusive man would look like if he never changed--if he confessed and asked for forgiveness as manipulation. That's a hard question. What would it look like to live, willing to forgive, but unreconciled? Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation
Seeking Sanctuary 