When the book, Sanctuary: Hope and Help for Victims of Domestic Abuse was written, it was written quickly. It’s time for a make-over.

Chapter 1 additions–these are NOT included in the original book, but will flesh it out and provide a richer context:

Each person, male or female, adult or child, rich or poor, influential or unknown, represents God. God does not see us the way others do. He does not see us the way we see ourselves. He views and created each one of us to express Him in a unique way. It is not His design for individuals to rule one another. Instead, God’s perfect plan was for Adam and Eve to work cooperatively, doing what God Himself does. He governs and rules with justice and righteousness, multiplying His goodness, grace, and glory (Genesis 1:28).

The fact that God created reflections of Himself to enjoy and govern the created world explains why an abusive marriage is so damaging. In an oppressive relationship, one individual hi-jacks the image of God in another. This individual determines another’s ability to think, choose, express, govern, plan and create. One sinful, broken person declares himself to be god over another. But he is not inherently good. He is not all knowing. He is not loving, kind, gracious and merciful. Although he is not god, he desires to be like the Most High (Isaiah 14:14). And, in the twisted way he sees himself and others, he steals, kills, and destroys to take what is not rightfully his (John 10: 10).

At the end of the chapter: Really, the choice is yours. And this is where you must begin. Will you make God’s Word your reality? Or will you cling to and live by the words and actions of others? What is true? Once you discover truth, you can use it to reveal lies and deceit, to fill your mind, and prayerfully walk in it.

GROWTH EXERCISES

• Begin with truth. How does God view you? How is that different than the way you see yourself?

• In what ways do you govern your world with justice and righteousness? What influences or circumstances hinder your ability to freely live out your God-given design?

• Where do thoughts about yourself come from? A parent, spouse, friend? Stop. Listen to what you’re thinking. Ask where it’s coming from. Write each lie on an index card. When you discover truth in God’s Word, write it on the opposite side of the same card. Use these cards to prayerfully replace lies with truth.

• Who is God? What is He like? Read Psalm 7, 27, and 31. Memorize and praise God for who He is. Look for His provision and protection in your life.

• If the Bible is unfamiliar to you, start reading the book of John. You don’t need to understand it all. Simply ask God to help you know Jesus.