As I listen to and interact with women–young and old–who find themselves in impossible situations, feeling powerless and hopeless, there are times I struggle with God’s nearness and justice.

I won’t lie. It is lonely and difficult listening to those who have been sinned against when many of their churches teach that gossip involves speaking about sin. When they are silenced. When they don’t have the ability to untwist their experiences and see them for what they are. When they love Jesus, when they want to follow God, but His voice is drowned out by those who mispresent Him or crowd Him out with ungodly rules and expectations, retaliation and punishment, with chaos and unanswered questions. When they have little to no recourse or ability to find Whom their seeking.

And it’s easy to take responsibility for what is not mine. It’s easy to slip into seeking how to fix, change, or manipulate people and circumstances.

But then, there’s God. And to step into that place is to live as if I am God. To seek to fix, change, or manipulate that which is not to my liking; that which I find offensive, frustrating, and unfair. This is a step into wickedness–taking a sense of justice, that which God created and intends for good–and using it for my own comfort, my own ease and convenience, even if it appears others benefit. This is me saying, “There is no God.”

When this happens:

“There is no fear of God before his eyes…. he flatters himself in his own eyes, too much to notice his iniquity
–or hate it.

“His mouth’s words are iniquity and deceit. He has ceased to be wise and do good.” (Psalm 36:3-4)

And this is where the Spirit of God uses the Word of God to work transformation–not in circumstances, but in my heart and mind. The focus is not the waves, not the storm, nor the men in the boat. My focus is solely on Jesus who extends His hand of grace and strength; stability and confidence. Will I take His hand? Or be overwhelmed by flooding forces of fear and threat of harm? Redirection is reaching out my hand, recalling:

Your love, Adonai, is in the heavens,
Your faithfulness up to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mountains of God.
Your judgments are like the great deep.
You preserve man and beast, Adonai.
How precious is Your love, O God!
The children of men find refuge in the shadow of Your wings.
They drink their fill from the abundance of Your House.
You give them drink from the river of Your delights.
For with You is the fountain of life—
in Your light we see light.
Continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You,
and Your justice to the upright in heart. (Psalm 36:6-11)

And as I lean into Him and His Word, I see more clearly. I am protected in the shadow of His wings. I am blessed by His presence and provision. His light guides. His lovingkindness fuels my words and actions. His justice guides my decisions. But even then, the storm rages. The waves rise, and I continue to be dependent:

May the foot of pride never tread on me, nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
There the evildoers lie fallen— thrown down, not able to rise! (Psalm 36:12-13)

This is mine because of Jesus. Jesus who came for me. Who died for my sin. Who rose for my justification. Who sits at the right hand of the Father interceding for me. They sees. They hear. They know. They remember. They work. It is mine to trust, to walk by faith, and to live by eternal truth.