Life is hard. Marriage takes work. So if a woman is miserable and thinks her life is normal, how would she know if something more is going on?
A wife who is in a dangerous or oppressive relationship does not and can not submit in the biblical sense of the word because her behavior is forced. Submission is a choice. Survival is not. A woman who is punished for disobeying her husband's preferences, desires, and commands quickly learns where the line is and how to avoid repercussions.
Where sin is involved, we should not be surprised but, instead, should expect the following responses. It is only by God's grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ that we run to Him when we sin.
Proverbs 18:17 says, "The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him." Those who help individuals settle disputes and live at peace depend on this principle. In most people situations, this works. But a proverb is a proverb, not a promise--it's true most of the time, given the right circumstances. This … Continue reading Two Sides to Every Story
As you work through how to respond to an abusive husband, it is important to understand the Nunya Zone. It is discussed in more detail throughout the book, Sanctuary, but not by that name. Nunya is a term I use regularly in counseling sessions that refers to those things that are not my responsibility, as in … Continue reading The Nunya Zone
Somehow we've gotten the idea that submission in marriage means everything. If a husband is displeased, it's because his wife isn't submitting. If the marriage is struggling, it's because she's not submitting "in everything." There a mistaken understanding that, because marriage represents Christ and the Church, the husband (representing Christ) is right and the wife … Continue reading Submissive Equality