In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.
Where sin is involved, we should not be surprised but, instead, should expect the following responses. It is only by God's grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ that we run to Him when we sin.
So when we clean or cover up another's sin and remove consequences and the opportunity/need for repentance, we are not serving them. We may be serving ourselves without realizing it. We are not working with God, but against Him.
If an individual is not forgiven here on earth, it's because forgiveness was not sought and repentance was not actualized. If that sin is not paid for and loosed on earth by those who experienced it, it is not forgiven in Heaven. It has never been owned, confessed, forsaken.
We call out idolatrous behavior so that others may see the person of Jesus Christ exhibited in our churches and congregations--the holiness, reverence, and love He has for His own. We do not obey for our own sakes, but to make Him known. Hiding the idolatrous, divisive, destructive brother in our midst is not loving for that individual, his wife, children, or the local church. It's time we took a hard look at repentance.
"Too often, Christians mistake the transgressors, not the transgressed, as the ones most in need of grace." Jonathon Hollingsworth
Years ago while visiting a friend, the phone rang. From the far end of the house I heard a small, shrill voice rise and continue. "Aren't you going to answer the phone?" I asked. "Not yet," she said. The sound got louder and clearer, "Get outta the way! Move! Move! Move!" The young tornado ran … Continue reading Get Outta the Way!
"If a woman is not to blame for her abuse, aren't you finger-pointing and blaming the victim to talk about her sin?" When a woman comes to a pastor, biblical counselor, or older woman for help, the last thing that should be addressed is her sin. Literally. The last thing. Her primary need is practical … Continue reading Why Address Sin?
I was recently asked what marriage to an abusive man would look like if he never changed--if he confessed and asked for forgiveness as manipulation. That's a hard question. What would it look like to live, willing to forgive, but unreconciled? Jesus' said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation