We call out idolatrous behavior so that others may see the person of Jesus Christ exhibited in our churches and congregations--the holiness, reverence, and love He has for His own. We do not obey for our own sakes, but to make Him known. Hiding the idolatrous, divisive, destructive brother in our midst is not loving for that individual, his wife, children, or the local church. It's time we took a hard look at repentance.
The book of Nehemiah does not specifically refer to, or pretend to address, domestic abuse, but it does give insight into conflict, ungodly manipulation, and godly responses.