Some men intentionally look for Jesus-loving, kind, gracious, submissive women to marry as a means of controlling them and micromanaging their personal life. Some men use the church as a cover for sinful behavior. It worked in Corinth.
Some view marriage as a magic portal--a golden ticket--to manhood. It's everything a juvenile boy could wish for: sex without cost, privilege without price, freedom from conflict or push-back.
In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.
The book of Nehemiah does not specifically refer to, or pretend to address, domestic abuse, but it does give insight into conflict, ungodly manipulation, and godly responses.
Proverbs 18:17 says, "The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him." Those who help individuals settle disputes and live at peace depend on this principle. In most people situations, this works. But a proverb is a proverb, not a promise--it's true most of the time, given the right circumstances. This … Continue reading Two Sides to Every Story