A wife who is in a dangerous or oppressive relationship does not and can not submit in the biblical sense of the word because her behavior is forced. Submission is a choice. Survival is not. A woman who is punished for disobeying her husband's preferences, desires, and commands quickly learns where the line is and how to avoid repercussions.
When you've tried, and tried, and failed, maybe the problem isn't the Scripture applied, but 1) the diagnosis or 2) the intended result.