Christians, biblical counselors, pastors, Bible study leaders--we are quick to rush to perceived biblical solutions because it seems obvious--it's what we know. In the case of domestic abuse (or any abuse), it is much easier to tell a victim to forgive than it is to listen to, wrestle with, and endure suffering with her. Forgiveness … Continue reading Don’t Rush It!
Years ago while visiting a friend, the phone rang. From the far end of the house I heard a small, shrill voice rise and continue. "Aren't you going to answer the phone?" I asked. "Not yet," she said. The sound got louder and clearer, "Get outta the way! Move! Move! Move!" The young tornado ran … Continue reading Get Outta the Way!
I was recently asked what marriage to an abusive man would look like if he never changed--if he confessed and asked for forgiveness as manipulation. That's a hard question. What would it look like to live, willing to forgive, but unreconciled? Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and … Continue reading Forgiveness without Reconciliation
A common response to the book, Sanctuary: Hope and Help for Victims of Domestic Abuse, from those who have never lived in an environment of domestic abuse is, "Wow. I'd never allow that." Or, "What's wrong with those women?" For those outside the dynamic (by God's grace), this type of thinking and speaking is called victim-blaming. … Continue reading Couldn’t Be!