Behaviors that protect my-way-or-the-highway, no-matter what, at-the-expense-of-others, are often unseen and unaddressed. They're not new. In fact, they're almost as old as dirt.
From the Outside
Restoration or Reconciliation?
When someone wants to "restore" a relationship, here are questions that come to mind.
Persecution vs. Abuse
there are a number of obstacles if an individual or church is going to view suffering affliction in marriage as persecution.
Tried and Failed
When you've tried, and tried, and failed, maybe the problem isn't the Scripture applied, but 1) the diagnosis or 2) the intended result.
Supernatural Grace
"Too often, Christians mistake the transgressors, not the transgressed, as the ones most in need of grace." Jonathon Hollingsworth
For Men Only
Men, I plead with you to get it right. Make the effort to change your mind and practice loving others by trusting God instead of leaning on your own understanding.
Differing Weights
"To show partiality in judgement is not good. He who says to the wicked, 'You are righteous,' peoples will curse him, nations will abhor him; But to those who rebuke the wicked will be delight, and a good blessing will come upon them. He kisses the lips who gives a right answer." (Proverbs 24:23-26) Today … Continue reading Differing Weights
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Much like a mirror, we view life through our eyes--looking out from the inside. Even when we think we're looking in, we're looking at ourselves through ourselves. For that reason, none of us is objective. That's why the Word of God and the people of God are vital. An abuser sees the victim as an … Continue reading Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Two Sides to Every Story
Proverbs 18:17 says, "The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him." Those who help individuals settle disputes and live at peace depend on this principle. In most people situations, this works. But a proverb is a proverb, not a promise--it's true most of the time, given the right circumstances. This … Continue reading Two Sides to Every Story
The Conscience and Domestic Abuse
"It can't be!" "It's not possible." These are natural responses when a victim discloses the truth, especially to mutual friends and family members. We want to think people know better, that the abuser has a conscience, that no one would knowingly treat a loved one with cruelty and contempt. That's simply not true. The noetic effect … Continue reading The Conscience and Domestic Abuse
