About the Children

In homes with domestic violence, 50% of children are sexually and physically abused. America loses 5 children a day to abuse and neglect. Our churches, to our shame, are not exempt. The homes in our churches are not exempt. We must be watchful. Approachable. Trustworthy. Actively engaging the evil in our world with good, by the grace of God.

Submission vs. Survival

A wife who is in a dangerous or oppressive relationship does not and can not submit in the biblical sense of the word because her behavior is forced. Submission is a choice. Survival is not. A woman who is punished for disobeying her husband's preferences, desires, and commands quickly learns where the line is and how to avoid repercussions.

Why do I Feel guilty?

In a relationship with a controlling individual, there is a lot of guilt because that individual has a lot of rules. Not only do the rules change capriciously, there are real punishments associated with breaking each and every rule. The person in power controls which rule is most important in any given moment and determines when, how, why, and what kind of punishment applies whether the rule was spoken, unspoken, real or imagined.

Invisible Bondage

Compare biblical misunderstanding with Amnesty International's Report on Torture (New York: Farra, Strauss, and Giroux), 1973 following the Vietnam War. Albert Biderman, a psychologist, studied the methods foreign armies used to extract false confessions from prisoners of war. You may be surprised at the similarities.