Many women who experience punishment or consequences as a result of displeasing their husband are told by said husband, churches, pastors, family and friends that they are unforgiving. "The Bible says to forgive seventy times seven. If you don't forgive, you're the one holding a grudge." There are a lot of things packed into the … Continue reading Seventy Times Seven
Good and Angry
If grief is the normal response to abuse, anger follows honesty or candor. "How could I keep going back?" "Why didn't I ____?" "Who does he think he is?" Because anger is a response to moral failure, it reveals what we perceive to be right and wrong. In the case of abuse, anger is not … Continue reading Good and Angry
Compassion Trumps Obedience
It's time to call suffering what it is, to rebuke wrong doing, and rescue the hurting from unnecessary, avoidable injustice. Why do we fail to take another's suffering...lightly?
As Old as the Hills (Part 2)
The book of Nehemiah does not specifically refer to, or pretend to address, domestic abuse, but it does give insight into conflict, ungodly manipulation, and godly responses.
There will not only be Divine justice in the last day, there will also be human justice.
Persecution vs. Abuse
there are a number of obstacles if an individual or church is going to view suffering affliction in marriage as persecution.
Tried and Failed
When you've tried, and tried, and failed, maybe the problem isn't the Scripture applied, but 1) the diagnosis or 2) the intended result.
Anger is a charged, dangerous word. Anger brings pain, sorrow, anguish, conflict, shame, guilt. It is an abuser's weapon of choice, his way to hammer home expected behavior when coercion doesn't work. Anger is inherently out of control, unpredictable, unstoppable. Anger is also a proper response to injustice. Anger is the needle on our moral … Continue reading Anger
The Nunya Zone
As you work through how to respond to an abusive husband, it is important to understand the Nunya Zone. It is discussed in more detail throughout the book, Sanctuary, but not by that name. Nunya is a term I use regularly in counseling sessions that refers to those things that are not my responsibility, as in … Continue reading The Nunya Zone
Somehow we've gotten the idea that submission in marriage means everything. If a husband is displeased, it's because his wife isn't submitting. If the marriage is struggling, it's because she's not submitting "in everything." There a mistaken understanding that, because marriage represents Christ and the Church, the husband (representing Christ) is right and the wife … Continue reading Submissive Equality