Statistics reveal “1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.” Today I am on call with the Family Resource Services as a medical advocate for domestic violence. It’s a reality, but a hidden one.

Few victims, if any, communicate the truth of their experience. When you have a bad day, how often do you dive into details? Especially if you’ve been misused and taken advantage of. To a close friend or spouse? Maybe. To someone you don’t know at all? Or whom you look up to? Probably not. Why? Because it’s embarrassing. Not only did you suffer injustice, you “let” it happen, and then you walked away as if it never happened.

The same is true for those who suffer domestic violence. To endure the pain, degradation, and intense hatred of someone who supposedly loves you is one thing. To say it aloud, to admit the horror, is to experience a new level of shame and risk. It happens. Has happened. And, honestly, it’s easy to understand why women don’t want to take the chance. Instead, they’ll say, “He knocked me around.” “It was just a tiff.” “We got in a little bit of a fight.” “It was nothing.”

And that’s exactly when those of us who can, should listen louder. Ask questions. Get more information. Hold our tongue. Believe. Be genuine. Love. Pray. Help.

All my longings lie open before you, Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart pounds, my strength fails me;
even the light has gone from my eyes.
My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds;
my neighbors stay far away.
Those who want to kill me set their traps,
those who would harm me talk of my ruin;
all day long they scheme and lie.

I am like the deaf, who cannot hear,
like the mute, who cannot speak;
I have become like one who does not hear,
whose mouth can offer no reply.
Lord, I wait for you;
you will answer, Lord my God.

Those who repay my good with evil
lodge accusations against me,
though I seek only to do what is good.

Lord, do not forsake me;
do not be far from me, my God.
Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my Savior. (Psalm 38:9-15, 20-22)